You're a pain in my back

Somehow aging is not that graceful. Yes we are told on a daily basis from women like Isabella Rosellini, Susan Sarandon, Sharon Stone and everyone else that is 40+, how much they enjoy their new found confidence, sense of self and experience, they feel as they become older. To me getting older is just a pain in my back. I agree, yeah I feel more confident, I feel like I don't need do things or say things in order to make others happy; except for my clients in which case I've gotten better with age at pretending. Thing is I feel great emotionally and psychologically but it's my back, my eyesight and those annoying mammograms that flatten your breast like a pancake, that remind me that I am getting old. Maybe this is nature's biggest joke. Your mind is 150% optimal, working all for you, but your body is now at 75% and declining, it's telling you that although you think you can work at your best, putting in long hours, you will feel it on your back, on your neck. That even though I would like to think that if I tried hard enough, long enough, I could perform a double axel. It ain't ever gonna happen, not in this life. What I don't even want to think about is when my mind and my body both start to go. I have one word: euthanasia. At that point in my life, stick a fork in me, I'm done.

Censorship

It's a generation thing. All the disclaimers, "this program contains scenes that might not be suitable for..." You get it, you've seen it. Even before Anthony Bourdain's "No Reservations" there's a big disclaimer. And this is a show about food and culture. Now I hate it when older folks talk about the good old days, those horrible conversations with your grandparent that always started with "When I was your age." But here I go, WHEN I was growing up in Puerto Rico, we did not have cable tv, OH MY GOD! Yes, and there wasn't TV on 24 hrs a day, hence the scene in Poltergeist where the TV goes from picture to snow, because TV programming ended. But that's not really the point of this entry. I used to watch with my family after dinner, the Iris Chacón Show. For those of you not familiar with this 70's Puerto Rican cultural icon, I will post a link below. Okay, she was a Vedette, which is just a fancy French word for a soft exotic dancer/with no talent except for a her big ass and tits. Her show consisted on her dancing and singing with a skimpy outfit, possibly a g-string, with tons of sequins and shimmer, maybe even some feathers. When you are four and this is Saturday nights with your parents in 1976, it was all pretty cool. I mean no one would have ever thought about putting any disclaimers prior to the show. I even remember my grandfather commenting on her big beautiful ass. It was all very wholesome, "fun for the whole family." But of course, we didn't use seat belts, we would sit three people in the front seat of my dad's Buick and i would sometimes play bartender at my parent's parties, pouring vodka tonics and rum & cokes.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kqndiZ4irM0

not even the rain has such small hands

(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens; only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands.

e.e. cummings

somehow e.e.'s poems had alway made me feel terribly melancholic because I always felt longing and envy... wanting to feel like whatever it was that he was feeling while he was writing. It was always so simple, just like I always though things should be, at least for me. today I read this again, as many times in my life; except I wasn't sad or nostalgic. I didn't feel like the girl at the bus stop, left all alone, while everyone else had left to some sort of party I was unaware of, or simply just didn't want to participate in it because it was just such a hassle. Today it felt like I was on the bus, sitting comfortably, enjoying things just as they are for me. Simple.

I don't know why, I guess I've just been having a lot of sex, the good kind, the kind that makes you smile during dull and humdrum business meetings, the kind that makes you forget that soon I have to file my tax returns, or the kind that has everyone at work telling you how good you look, when in fact I probably look as the same old, same old, 38 year old, wrinkled, cellulite-riddden gal I've always been. Except, it's all so simple today.

http://sundeepdougal.tripod.com/eec.html

We are the world, 25.

I have to write about the new We are the world. There's so many people that shouldn't be there. I mean in the original you had La Toya and Tito; but at least they were family but what the fuck is Vince Vaughn doing there? Or Jeff Bridges, I mean he just made a movie about a singer, it doesn't mean he should be singing. And Nicole Richie and her offspring? Well her father wrote the song so basically by nepotism alone she has more credibility than Vince Vaughn. One thing remains true, Enrique Iglesias can't sing. Thank goodness that Heidi Montag decided to forgo because of course she has an album coming out and she had a gazillion dollars worth of plastic surgery done. Hey, you're talentless, get it? It was a reality show, you're a joke that has gone far enough. Stand aside and let Snooki get her 15 minutes.